My Adventure Time
by ContessaTheBrave
Summary: IT'S OC, SWEETHEART. Forgive me, OC-haters. But, you'll regret not reading this little poop. Lots of lame humor, angst, and awesomeness awaits the lucky readers who give this stupid OC a chance.
1. Moody Weasels with KK's

***gasp* I've finally done it. After months of nagging at myself and reading countless other fan fictions (and telling myself that one day, I will have one of the said fan fictions posted on _my _account), I have finally come out of my pathetic little poop bubble, and have created a little masterpiece. Listen, guys, this is OC. I'm terribly sorry...I, personally, do not care for OC's (because most of the time, they're cheesy; too Mary Sue), but I had no other choice than to use an OC as the main character. But, enough complaining for this one; let the Ninja tell you who this little turd is.**

**So, we have this little poop named Ava. She does not have a last name, because she's obviously too awesome to have one (*cough* I..couldn't think of a good last name...). Ava is 5'7, has long, layered, dark brown hair, poop-colored eyes, big twins, huge donk, the works. She has been with the Akatsuki for a good four to five years, and she is sixteen years old. She has _not _had sex with any of the beasties, and that's _good _(I know this author's note is taking forever, but you need to know who the stupid OC is to understand. Bear with me, guys..). How she joined the Akatsuki may be told either throughout the story, or in an entirely new story. **

**Now, for the readers who haven't clicked the back arrow to find a different, juicy little fan fiction, please enjoy my very first fan fiction, My Adventure Time~**

-Ch. 1 Moody Weasels with KK's-

"We should go on an adventure," I said aloud, while drinking my coffee with Sasori, Kisame, Hidan, and Zetsu (Can you believe it? A plant drinking coffee. Ha!). Itachi was on the couch, falling asleep on Deidara's lap, causing the blonde to twirl his hair. Kakuzu and Pein left way early in the morning, so I had no idea where they were.

"Adventure?" Sasori mumbled, looking at me with his copper eyes curiously.

"Yeah! I mean, let's face it, June's almost over, and we've done nothing but hang out in the pool and watch TV. Ninja needs some adventure time!" Hidan scoffed, shaking his head.

"You're complaining about being bored when you've been hanging out with eight of the hottest fucking guys you'll ever meet?" Yes, _all _nine of them will be hot in this. How can they not be? Hidan shifted his body towards me, leaning into my space.

"Sounds like someone needs to get laid," he spoke softly, winking at me. I blushed, then punched his face, but of course, he just laughed about it and scooched back to where he was sitting before.

"Forward much, Hidan?" Zetsu said, rolling his eyes at the silver haired sexy. Hidan flew Zetsu a birdie, pissing him off. I laughed at Zetsu's anger, but went silent (Zetty mouthed, "I'll eat you," to me).

"Where would you want to go?" Kisame asked, sipping his coffee. I shrugged.

"No idea. I just don't want our visits to Wal-Mart to be the highlight of my summer," Sasori chuckled at this, putting his cup down.

"Well...There's always Nashville, I guess." You see, instead of creating some sort of mystical, imaginary place for me and the Akatsuki to live, I just decided to be a lazy ass and keep 'em stuffed in my house. No biggie on my part. It'll just be a little cramped, considering the fact that Nine guys plus me (and two kitties) are going to be stuffed in this teensy house.

"Nash Vegas is a no no," I bluntly stated. "Don't we have a shit load of money tucked away somewhere?" Kisame shook his spiky blue hair.

"Yeah, but it's tucked in Kakuzu's ass. No one's going to want to touch that." We all stared blankly at Hidan, since he's the one stuck with the stitchy guy. He crossed his arms, furrowing his brows together.

"Ain't no way in Hell am I getting sucked into this shit." We all dramatically sighed, causing the room to go a gloomy blue. Sasori suddenly shrieked, startling all of us.

"Agh! Kisame? Where'd you go? Quick! Someone get the room bright again before we lose him!" Sasori and Zetsu turned their heads to me, so I looked around frantically, searching for Spok and Noodle, the amazing Ninja sidekicks. Hidan just sipped at his coffee, ignoring us. Thankfully, Spok was waltzing around at the bottom of the table, so I grabbed him and tossed him towards the invisible Kisame.

"Tossing the cat this early in the morning..." A groggy, but _**sexy **_voice crawled its way into the kitchen room. Suddenly, Kisame appeared from where he used to be sitting, with Spok wide-eyed in his lap.

"Itachi!" I cheered. "You brought Kisame back to us!" Itachi ran his hand through his hair, looking at a pissed Kisame.

"...I really hate this room..," the tall blue man muttered. Itachi stumbled over towards the table in his purple boxers (time to start thinking of the Bieste), letting a hand plop down on my shoulder.

"Was it really necessary to throw Spokky..? You know he's scared of Kisame's sharky appearance," he said to me, his voice low.

"Kisame left us...There was no other way, man. It's not Akatsuki without him!" I said dramatically, with my hand stretched out towards Kisame. Itachi sighed.

"Plus," I added, "You would think that he would be attacking Kisame, rather than being a wuss about it." Ah yes, the cheesy joke about Kisame's fishy appearance. Well, it made Hidan snicker.

"Get up. I need a seat," Itachi commanded sternly, ignoring my lame ass joke. I did a stupid pout, then walked towards the coffee maker, flipping my hair. I already knew the routine: kick my fat ass outta the chair, then get the sexy some coffee.

"Don't forget the creamer and sugar," he called to me, putting his head down on the table. You forget he can read minds...

"Yes your majesty.." I mumbled, tossing the cream and sugar in. Sasori looked at me and somehow made his eyes twice the size they were before.

"What's for breakfast?" He asked, smiling widely. I frowned at him, walking towards the dark-haired beauty, his cup of coffee in my hands. Sasori looked amused at my expression, watching me place the coffee by Itachi's forearm.

"There you are, my good man," I said softly in a play British accent. Itachi poked his head up, then stretched his long arms until they reached Spok, whom perked his ears at his fingers, watching with sleepy eyes. Apparently he's not so scared of Kisame once he's in his huge lap! (awh3) In the corner of my eye, I saw Deidara get up from the couch, cracking his back. He strolled in the kitchen with his neon pink boxers, and to tell you the good ole truth, it was quite the sight. His tan skin made the boxers pop out, which was just _awesome_. He smiled at me, grabbing my sides from behind and pulling me into a tight embrace. This was our way of saying 'good morning,' I guess. But, it was always short, because Itachi or Sasori would push him away, even though we both knew it was no big deal. This time it was Itachi to pull us apart.

"For the love of Jashin, keep it in the pants, Deidara," he groaned, pulling my arm. "It's too early in the morning." Hidan and Zetsu both suddenly spoke with annoyed voices.

"Dude, it's eleven in the morning. It's almost fucking lunch time. It's only early for _You_, moron." They both looked at each other confused, then back at Itachi, who shooed them with his hand. I laughed at all of them, then turned to Deidara.

"Apparently it's my turn to cook breakfast. Want anything in particular?" He scratched his long blonde hair, thinking.

"Eh...what does Sasori want? I don't really care what I have." I sighed, turning to Sasori, whom was smiling deviously at me.

"What do you want then?" I asked, annoyed with this red haired sexy already. Just as he was about to answer, the door swung open, revealing the almighty Pein, followed by Kakuzu. They were each carrying two huge brown bags. Noodle always ran to the door when it opened, since she loved being outside. She met Pein and Kakuzu at the door, meowing her high pitched squeal of a meow. Pein smiled at Noodle. We all, except Itachi, watched them make their way towards the kitchen counter.

"Someone go shut the door. I don't want to waste any more money for the air conditioning in this little shit house," Kakuzu said darkly. I automatically ran towards the door, after waiting for them to pass, and quietly shut it.

"What's in the bags?" Deidara asked Pein, moving out of the way. Pein dropped the bag on the counter, opening its contents. He pulled out four boxes of Krispy Kreme's, all of them assorted.

"Breakfast." All the guys looked up then, even Itachi. Spok jumped out of Kisame's lap and ran towards my ankles, brushing against my silver anklet. He knew how Kisame got around food. After Kakuzu dropped the bag on the counter and pulled out four more boxes of KK's, he and Pein got their share and walked into the living room, turning the TV on. We all waited for the signal; Pein would give us a signal for it to be okay to get food. Yes, odd, but he_is_the Leader. Suddenly, his hand went up, and the kitchen was attacked from all sides. I didn't even dare try to get any food until the mob scene was cleared. The only one that didn't get up was Itachi, who must have dozed off, again. How cute3

After everyone got their share of donuts, they all picked a spot in the living room and plopped down, munching away. I walked towards the donuts, seeing if there were any left. There were two chocolate glazed ones, one glazed, and one lemon filled powdered one. I tapped Itachi's head, but he just moved his head to the other side. Ugh...

"Itachi, get up, man." Suddenly, I saw Noodle sitting by me, looking up at me with her green eyes glistening. She knew exactly what she wanted to do. Y'see, she's got this crush on Itachi, which I find incredibly adorable. So, I picked up Noodle, even though she hates being picked up, and I placed her on Itachi's hair, a BIG no no in Itachi's book of rules.

"Noodle says get the Fuck up!" Hidan yelled to Itachi, who was watching over his shoulder. Noodle started meowing in Itachi's ear, doing that claw scratching thing on his hair. But Itachi just ignored her.

"Just leave him to starve man," Hidan said to me. I shrugged and grabbed the lemon donut and a chocolate one, then looked in the living room, and sighed. There's no way I'm going to get a seat. Pein looked up, which surprised me, and pushed Zetsu over, creating a small space on the couch. He patted the space, looking at me. I was honestly contemplating in my head whether or not I should go sit by him. He was somewhat intimidating to me; I've always been nervous around him, even though I've been in the Akatsuki for four years. But, the hormonal teenager spirit in me took control of my legs and brought me into the room, squeezing into the little space. Zetsu then put his arm around the couch, so that my head was resting on his huge muscly arm.

"So, Ava here said she wants an adventure this summer," Kisame said, looking at Pein, who then looked at me as I was stuffing my face with the chocolate donut. Thanks a lot, fish...

"Adventure, huh? How about to Boston? Kakuzu and I had some business up there," he said to me, but his eyebrow rose, looking at my mouth. I tried putting my hand over my mouth, but it was too late. I've been caught red handed! I froze when he reached his hand up to my face, rubbing some chocolate icing off the corner of my lip, causing my face to turn bright red. Then he licked his finger, looking as if it was nothing. What the fuh? Everyone in the room looked at Pein curiously, considering that they already were looking at him, since he was talking about something. The only one that kept eating was Kakuzu. He didn't care about anything, I swear.

"U-um, thanks..." I stuttered, embarrassed. The only ones that would even think of doing that to me are Sasori, Hidan, and Deidara. Pein smiled at me kindly, which of course made me blush even more. This is odd, man. Pein's been acting odd for a while now. Itachi must have heard my thinking, for he shot his head up, staring darkly at Pein. He was staring at him almost as if he knew what Pein's reasoning for this behavior was. Odd.

"So, does Boston sound like a good enough adventure for you, Ava?" Pein was saying all of this sarcastically, making me feel like I was only in the Akatsuki to be entertained by the sexy beasties. So, basically, he made me feel like shit.

"...If it's okay with you guys..." I said shyly, looking away from Pein's gaze and focusing on my donut, nibbling on the...well, you can't really call it the corner of the donut. Hm...Oh Shit. Who cares? The donut. Pein looked over to Kakuzu, whom was probably trying to ignore our talking. That made me realize: they turned the damn TV on, and we were talking through the show...Shit. But wait! Kisame was the one to start it. So it's his fault...Sweet, hopefully they'll blame the blue man for interrupting Chowder...

"Kakuzu, is it alright with you if Ava tags along with us to-,"

"I'm not paying for any of her expenses," The stitchy man said, glaring at me suddenly, as if I just ripped a dollar bill or something. I shook my hair in my face quickly. Hopefully he wouldn't be able to stare into my soul now. Pein was the one closer to him, so he moved his body so Kakuzu couldn't see me, and said, "Chill man. I'll take care of that." What!

"I think I'll be okay with paying for myself..." I protested, looking at the both of them. At this point, a few of the guys got up to put their plates in the sink, and strolled off to different places. The only ones in the room still were Deidara, Pein, Kakuzu, Zetsu, and Itachi, who was finally eating one of his donuts. Noodle was sitting right by his chair, looking up at him sweetly. Spok was probably on the counter, licking at the remaining icings in the Krispy boxes, which was probably not good for him. But then again, the fat cat's like a dog..or a goat. He'll eat anything. Pein shook his head.

"Nope. If you want an adventure, you'll get one. Which means you keep your damn money to yourself. Save it for the Anime stores there, or whatever," I found it pointless to argue with him, so I just nodded, and finished the chocolate donut. Kakuzu rose up from the love seat, taking his plate and, carefully, putting it in the sink.

"Someone needs to do the dishes," he called out to everyone. He looked at the calendar on the fridge. "Ava, your turn." Of course...I quickly rose up from the couch, startling Zetsu. You can't disturb the guy when it comes to Chowder, man. I glanced at Pein's plate, holding my hand out. He placed it in my hand, nodding his thanks, for now he was focused on Chowder. Ah jeez...I turned around and swiped Zetsu's plate from his lap, ignoring him look at my hand surprisingly. Deidara was already at the sink, so I just walked over towards him, and pushed him out of the way playfully. He smirked, but kept his stance, turning the water on for the sink.

"Dei, move it," I whispered. "You know Kakuzu hates it when people help each other with this shit." Dei gave me a dumb look, rolling his eyes.

"That guy needs to get that stick out of his ass then."

"Plus that wad of money," I added, smiling at the funny I made. We both giggled like little girls, until Kakuzu poked his head in-between us, staring at the dishes.

"Deidara, I think you dropped something," he said calmly. Dei shifted his head towards Stitchy, looking into his green irises.

"What is it?" Kakuzu smiled, which I knew instantly that this wouldn't be pretty. He then held up a huge, long stick, and stared at Deidara.

"I think you forgot this _**stick**_. Now, if I'm correct, you usually carry it in your _**Ass**_. Shall I put it there for you?" He asked darkly. Deidara was abnormally pale, his body frozen. I stifled a laugh at his expression.

"And _**you," **_Kakuzu looked at me, the dark ominous cloud swarming towards me. I gulped. Shit.

"Yes?" I squeaked. I thought he was going to get a big wad of money and say something about shoving it up my ass, but he just came up to my face, and whispered in my ear: "The dishes aren't getting cleaned..." Just that made me freeze. Now, it's not because he was somewhat gorgeous; his age was probably one of the reasons I thought he was hot (even though he's 91. Yep. I think a 91 year old's hot here. Utterly Fascinating what fan fiction and Anime do to you). The other reason was you don't, ever, _**Ever **_do or talk about Kakuzu in a bad way. Never. He can literally tear you apart. Or something. I don't know, man, the dude's just freaky. Like someone who can't take a hilarious joke. Or someone who Literally has a stick, or a wad of money, stuck up their ass. He's hard to get to laugh.

"I'm on it!" With that, I started scrubbing the closest plate to me, soap suds flying everywhere. Deidara was ushered out of the kitchen by Kakuzu, who looked satisfied with himself. Now Pein and Zetsu were departing the living room now that Chowder was over. Zetty took his leave to go hang outside. He took care of all the plants, etc.

"Noodle, you comin', kitty?" He asked the skinny little turd. He cracked the door open, and Noodle bolted towards the door, meowing like an idiot. As they both left, Pein walked downstairs silently, shutting the door. I sighed quietly, dropping the plates on the towel to dry. I suddenly felt someone wrap their arms around my waist, pulling me toward them, causing me to gasp.

"I thought they would never leave..," Itachi said quietly, rubbing his nose down my neck. I shivered by his touch, but tried focusing on the dishes, and not on Itachi being half naked and clinging onto me...in his purple boxers...with bed head..and his breath on my neck..

"It might be best if you finished the dishes _after _I'm done with you," Itachi said huskily, tightening his grasp on me. Damn his mind reading powers! And damn him for having enough confidence in himself to say that...Y'see? This is why I **love **fan fiction! I blushed, but shook my head.

"If I don't finish these, Kakuzu will probably stick the dishes down my throat, then complain that I broke them and make me go pay for more, like the cheap bastard he is." I felt Itachi's breath exhale sharply, as if he was cracking a quiet laugh. I smiled quietly. Finally, the sexy's in a good mood. He clung to me until I was finished putting the last dish on the towel, then I turned around so I was facing him, and smiled shyly.

"Looks like you could use a shower," I said, noticing his hair was actually a little greasy. You would think for a 21-year-old he would have good hygiene. He smiled a tiny smile, and then brought his face closer to mine, startling me. I moved back a bit, but my back dug into the counter. Shit. He smiled, most likely because he was reading my damn thoughts like some annoying Vampire (Hint HINT. Stupid Cullen, thing), and closed the gap between our lips. I immediately closed my eyes, then made a noise, and pushed Itachi's chest away. He looked at me confused, yet annoyed. I put my hand over my nose and mouth.

"Dude, brush your teeth. You reek." He looked at me like I shot a little cat-or SPOK! Like I shot Spok, yes. He loves Spok, you see. Anyway, he looked pathetic! I could have sworn I saw him blush in embarrassment. Ha, how's _**that **_for trying to hold up that "beautiful, sexy piece of meat," look? He looked pissed, and said, "Well damn...Looks like you're not getting anymore of me. Bastard." I shrugged.

"No biggie, man. I still have Deidara and Sasori," I teased, although that sounded quite whore-ish. He scoffed, then turned to go to the bathroom. Of course I would watch him turn around! How can I not when he has that tight ass hiding in those amazing boxers? Ah...teenage hormones. Love 'em and hate 'em. I walked towards the opposite counter to throw away the bags and boxes, then saw Spok looking all fat n' cute. I smiled at him, rubbing his fat head. He purred, delighted by being petted.

"Did Spok have a bad ass breakfast?" He meowed his rolling meow, swishing his tail once. I smiled, thumping his head, then tossed the bags away, but saw Itachi staring at me quietly. I looked at him curiously, then walked towards him.

"What?" He suddenly grabbed my wrist and rushed to the bathroom, and slammed the door shut, locking it. Grabbing my face and neck, he attacked my lips harshly, ignoring my protests. Well, at least he didn't taste bad now. Heh, minty freshness. I felt him lick my lower lip, and I gladly gave him the right of way to start a tongue war, causing me to moan softly. By now he had me pressed against the bathroom sink, so that my back was digging into _another_counter. Suddenly, he ground his hips into mine, and he was obviously thinking of something different than I was, given the fact that he was starting to breathe heavily. I pulled my face away from his, but he just moved to my neck, causing my face to turn red. His hands moved down to the hem of my black undershirt, pulling it up a bit. He moved away from me, making me think that he was satisfied, or whatever the right word was. That sounds terrible, no? I hate it...But hey, I'm not good with words. But he just crouched down a bit, spread my legs with his knee, and pulled/pushed me until I was sitting on the sink with my legs around him. He was occupying himself with devouring my neck when I decided this had gone far enough. I pushed on his shoulders, but he just pushed back harder, slamming my head into the wall.

"Ow!" I yelped, grabbing onto my head, even if it didn't hurt that bad. Itachi looked at me, annoyed, then sighed, letting go of his grasp on me, finally.

"Get out. I need to shower," he commanded again, this time more sternly. I looked at his face. Ah jeez. He glared at me, which was the cue that I canceled his "happy time." Um, _oops. (sarcasm~)_

"If you use my shampoo again, be sure to put the damn cap back on, please. It's rather annoying," I told him, getting off the sink and heading towards the door. I heard him say 'Fuck it," and then I felt myself being pushed in the shower, hard. I gasped, trying to figure out what he was doing, until he got in, this time not wearing his boxers. Oh _Shit_. I looked at his face, suddenly worried about what he was planning. He put both hands on either side of me, and looked me in the eye. Leaning in, he whispered in my ear:

"Be careful around Pein. He's planning on taking you some time during the trip to Boston. I don't want you to go...But I know how you are. You're in the stupid teenager stage, so you'll think this is no big deal. I'll talk with him sometime later, and hopefully I can get some sense into him so that he won't touch you." I was surprised at this.

"Is..is that why he's been all touchy lately..?" I asked, dumbfounded. He sighed.

"Yes, Ava...I know this doesn't sound like the protective, honest Leader, but he's confused himself. I mean, you're only sixteen. You're fresh meat to all of us Akatsuki. I'm just saying he's been thinking about how you're still a virgin after being with us for four years." I blushed at this. Sure I thought about the guys sexually, but I knew better than to do anything that rash. Itachi stepped out of the way, so I had room to leave the bathroom. He nodded his head, the cue to make me leave. I kept my head up, so I wouldn't see anything...unpleasant, and walked towards the door. As I opened the door, he said these last words: "Try to find someone you're close to other than me that could go with you to Boston. I don't want you leaving with that tight ass Kakuzu and Pein by yourself."

And so began my search to find a sexy to bring with me to Boston.

**SO. Wh-what did you think? Ooh...I wish I could beg for a review, but I know many people find that _irritating_. *cough***

**Ah, who am I kidding. _Do what you may_. Thank you so much for reading it...I really suck when it comes to actually doing things, so it means a lot to me. Yes, I'm pathetic; we all realize that. I hope you enjoyed the first chapter, and for the ones who want seconds: there are two more complete chapters to this. But, I will only post them if I have at LEAST _five _reviews. **

**S-see what I did there? That's right, sonny; I'm grabbing the axe and going in for the kill. So...I actually _am _begging for reviews. Wow, way to contradict yourself, Ninja. *smacks Hermione***


	2. Dirty Deeds Done Pein Cheap

**Guys, I re-read this chapter, and it sucks. Honestly. Lots of...ah, fluff? Maybe that's what it's called...Well. It's _lame_. I'm terribly sorry.**

**Thanks for reviewing; you know who you are. Heh. **

**Hm...Due to the "situation" Ava is in (living with the Akatsuki), I'd like to say this: I've done my research, and for this fan fiction, most of the Akatsuki members are their true age. The only ones I could not find actual ages for are Pein and Tobi. There's a particularly juicy secret amongst the Akatsuki, and I want you guys to try to figure it out. I'll warn you: it's confusing, and freakin' crazy, but I find it incredibly interesting. **

**Now, please, try to enjoy this ridiculous chapter. Thank you ^-^**

-Ch. 2 Dirty Deeds Done Pein Cheap-

I strolled out of the bathroom, leaving Itachi naked and pissed that I blew off his boner. I honestly didn't know how else I was supposed to type that, so sorry if it sounds..adult-oriented? Ha, come on man! My fan fiction! I wandered down the hallway, ignoring Spok's little mews for food, and thought. Why the Hell would Pein worry about my..um, oh, shit, just type it, virginity? I mean, I know I'm the youngest member of Akatsuki, and I'm the only girl, but still. It's just freakin' weird having a forty-year-old worry about me sexually. Even if he's a _hot-tight-assed-piece-of-meat _forty year old. Oh, the inner teenage monster would just scream 'go for it!' Ah jeez. I should worry about that later and focus on what that _sexy-naked-thing-taking-a-shower _said about finding someone to come with me to Boston.

"Who should it be..?" I muttered to myself, kicking Spok out of the way. He tends to walk right in front of your feet, so I showed no mercy. He just kept walking towards them anyway. Just then, I caught a glimpse of silver hair, and saw Hidan screwing around on the Internet. He was most likely watching porn...Idiot. How can Jashin allow this? I crept up behind Hidan's chair, and sure enough, the sexy was watching porn. _**Shocker~**_

___**"**_Hidan!" I screamed in his ear, as if the porn offended me. He yelled in surprise, and quickly minimized the porn and shut the sound off. I saw in the blank screen his reflection, and he looked _Defeated_! They way his eyes looked away, his brows furrowed, his blushing getting even redder...it was _Hilarious_! I couldn't help but start laughing at him, my finger pointing at his head.

"Ha! Caught you!~" I sang, dancing some dumb ass dance I was making up, and it was a badass dance, man. I was swaying my hips, jumping up and down, all that jazz; it was as if I had joined the Glee club in my head. He turned around, looking at me, pissed.

"What do you want..?"

"Would you like to go to Boston with me?" I regretted saying that. He rose up sharply, knocking the chair over, glaring and shouting, "Why the fuck would I ever want to fucking go on a trip when that cheap shit Kakuzu will fucking be there?" I forget; he's known for his cussing. I honestly find it _ridiculously_ annoying and unattractive, but the guy's like 22. He probably wouldn't care if I said that to him. Then again, he could be like Itachi, whom gets pissed about anything. Let's see...

"Seriously, man? The cussing's making your hotness disappear. Desist!" I crossed my arms as I said this, but gasped. The poor guy! He looked hurt! Now I feel like Kakuzu! Well, a Kakuzu that would think Hidan was hot, which is basically something extinct. I was extinct! No! I regret it! I regret it! I tried to think of something that would make him feel better. I hated making someone feel terrible.

"Well," I slid towards him, my arms venturing to his lower back. He looked down at me, with his pink eyes glistening, as if he were about to cry like a baby. I had to look up a bit to him, since he was a tad bit taller than me. Note! I have no idea what their real heights are, and since I'm basically doing this fan fiction to make _me_ happy, they shall all be taller than me! But, of course, Kisame's the tallest, and after that's Zetsu.

"I was just asking because I needed someone to keep me company in bed. I couldn't exactly ask Pein, now could I..?" My attempts at being seductive. Ah jeez. Luckily, he perked up; looking at me as if I were the porno he was watching a few minutes ago. His eyes ventured lower to my chest, but I thought this was punishment for me since I said that to him, so I just let him keep looking, even if it was quite uncomfortable.

"In that case," He replied seductively, wrapping his arms around my lower back as well. "Count me in," I don't know if he had any sake in his coffee this morning, but he lowered his head to mine and licked the tip of my nose, afterward outlining my lips also. All right, too much of Hidan to deal with; especially after the idiot was watching porn. Hurry, find something to hurt him! I gave him a tiny smile, then grabbed his boxers, and wretched them up as high as they could go. He squealed like a wee little piggy, letting go of my back and trying to get out of my grasp on his boxers. Did I mention they were a dark forest green? They looked nice to me. Since he was pale, with silver hair and pinkish red eyes, I thought they completed his look. I let him finally go after I was causing a scene. Y'see, Deidara and Kisame were in the room next to the computer room, which was _**my**_ room. The bastards! And they walked over to see what the crying was all about. They both started laughing at Hidan, pointing at him with one hand. Their other hand was on their stomach. I honestly didn't think it to be that great of a prank, or whatever the hell it was, so I just sighed, turning to Hidan.

"I'm actually good with you not going, man. Thanks though." After he flew me a birdie, I made Kisame and Dei move out of the way. "And what were you guys doing in my freakin' bedroom?" I turned to them; they followed me into my room. They both looked away, whistling or humming. Dumbasses. That's when I turned to look at my bed, and there it was: an Itachi plushie I adored, wearing my black, lacy bra as a hat. In an instant, they both burst out laughing, Deidara holding the wall for support.

"We were wondering what you were doing with Itachi in the bathroom, so we tried to bring it to life with your little plushie, un!" Deidara said enthusiastically, but Kisame stopped laughing.

"Now wait a sec, I was walking towards the other room, and heard this guy giggling like a little twit. So I'm innocent." I looked towards the plushie, then turned around to face the blonde and the blue, my face expressionless.

"And here I was about to ask each of you if you wanted to bunk with me on the Boston trip...oh well." They both gasped, staring blankly at my apathetic face.

"B-but I'm innocent!" Kisame cried, even though he was confused. He's not like Dei; me and him are just good friends, and if one of us is in a pickle, although I can never see him or I fitting into a pickle. Those are small little vegetables…But yeah, if we were in trouble, we had each other's backs. I don't know, is this rambling? On with the story!

"You were laughing! Guilty!" Kisame just slumped his back, and walked away. Deidara, on the other hand, slid past me and picked up the lacy bra.

"So what, do you really wear this thing, un? It's scratchy," He held it to his chest, posing like the little girl he _**so **_could be. Now I should say this: it was about twelve in the afternoon, but the Akatsuki usually paraded around in their boxers, boxer briefs, etc. The only one who didn't was Kakuzu, because he's just a douche. Pein did wear boxers, but he always had a v-neck on or some other type of shirt. They only dressed into actual clothes when they needed to be somewhere out of the house, and they rarely wore their Akatsuki cloaks. Heh, I should say "we," huh?

"I don't think I should tell you, Dei..." I told the blonde, annoyed. He smiled, then walked closer to me, turning around so I could see his _delicious _back.

"Snap it on," he commanded, his voice dropping to a low monotone. I snickered, snapping the hooks onto the other part of the bra.

"Trying to be like Itachi, yes?" He started chuckling a little, then I gave his back a pat, to tell him the bra was on him-_**to just touch that awesome, tan back~**__**  
**_  
"Agh!" I shook my head furiously, slapping myself. No! Deidara's a whore! A man-whore! And yes, he _was _a man-whore. Well, let's just say don't put him in a room with beer/wine/etc. when Itachi or Sasori's in there as well. Things get rough n' hot~

"The Hell's the matter, un?" Dei yelled, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me, for I was in a daze.

"Your back...Your back!" I yelled at him, stretching my arms for his back. He looked down at me, confused.

"My back, un? Oh shit, is there something on it?" He let go of me and ran towards the mirror, turning so he could see his back. I stumbled towards my art desk, reaching for...I really want to say the 'emergency pocky,' but I'm afraid someone's gonna say that's lame...It sounds funny though, doesn't it? Agh, dilemma, dilemma...Shit. I'll just hit myself. One hand slammed down on the art desk, the other went whirling into my face, waking me up from my 'attack Dei Dei's back mission.' Deidara, after feeling relieved nothing was on his back, rushed towards me.

"You all right there, un?" The only thing that could clear my mind of his glorious back...was my freakin' lacy bra that was still on him. So, the dumbest thing is possible: I poked one of the cups, and started giggling. He looked at me, then made some odd, girly noise, and crossed his arms, hiding his chest.

"Hello? Sexual harassment man. Don't touch me, un," the blonde whined, creating a fake blush. How? I smiled at him evilly, and suddenly wanted to know how it felt to be a sexual predator.

"Show me them _tits_, you stupid _whore_," I said in my best raspy man voice, groping the air and moving towards Dei's chest; ha, wait. I was doing the Creep (Wave your arms up n' down like a marionette~)! Suddenly Deidara ran and fake tripped, landing on my bed, knocking the Itachi plush over. He started to cry big fake tears.

"No, stop! That's only for Ita-chaan, un!" I jumped on top of him, straddling his waist.

"Shut up and give me a peek, bitch!" I yelled, grabbing at his arms. Just as I unhooked one of his huge arms, a knock was at the door. It was Itachi, dripping wet, with only a towel wrapped around his waist loosely. It looked like he was standing there, leaning on the wall for quite a while, watching us. Deidara and I couldn't help but drool.

"I seem to have forgotten my clothes..." Itachi mumbled, ignoring our drool puddles and strolling towards the closet. He snatched a faded denim pair of holey jeans, a black v-neck, and his favorite white belt. Then, he opened a dresser door and got a different pair of boxers. These were a dark blue~

"Continue raping each other," He called from his shoulder, disappearing into the bathroom, once again. Ah...Damn. Thank you God, for making something so beautiful.

"Well," I said, getting off of Deidara's beautiful body. "I need to find someone to bring with me to Boston, so if you'll excuse me..." I headed towards the door, but was stopped by Deidara's huge hand.

"Why can't I go, un?" He asked, sounding depressed. I turned around and wrapped my arms around him tightly.

"Because I don't want to see you getting it on with Kakuzu or Pein." He looked at me in horror.

"Now, Pein I can understand, but Kakuzu? Hell no, un! He'll stick that wad of money up my ass!" I laughed, letting go of him.

"Plus, I don't want you stealing any of my clothes."

"I do _**not**_steal your _**clothes**_, un." Dei said, matter-of-factly. Is that a word? I pointed at his chest, which was still covered by my lacy bra.

"_Yes _you _do_." With that, I left him as he yelled, "This was only a joke!" I walked down the hall, towards the living room, and saw Kakuzu counting up some hundred dollar bills. Deciding not to deal with him, I snuck outside, looking around for Zetsu.

"Zetty!~" I said in a singsong voice. "Where are you?" Just then, Noodle popped out from a bush, and meowed.

"Hey kitty," I reached down to pet her, but she ran towards the pool, afterwards looking back at me, meowing.

"You showin' me where Zetsu is, Noodle?" She meowed, and I just shrugged, and followed her. We were behind the house now, under the little shit balcony-thing, and Noodle suddenly stopped, rolling on the cement pavement. I looked around for a sign of green hair or a two colored body, but I didn't see anything; just Noodle rolling around, purring. I bent over, my hands on my knees, and watched Noodle be stupid.

"Where's Zetty, Noodle?" I asked her, even if it's pointless to ask a cat where some hot guy's at. Ooh! Rhyme! Yess~

"Behind you," a monotone voice said. I shot my head up and looked behind me, and saw the green haired beauty, in all of his black boxer-brief glory. Now, some of you, whoever's actually reading this other than me, probably don't care for men in boxer briefs. I used to not. But! You go look up Kellan Lutz (AKA Emmett Cullen, for you non-Anime Twilighters), half naked. He had some sort of modeling thing with boxer briefs. It's...Wow, it's pretty amazing. Well, now, for you Anime lovers~, picture _that _glorious body, as, first off, a bigger version of Kisame, and second, Zetsu! Gah, awesome…

"You didn't think of putting on some pants?" I asked him, not looking down. I always found it amazing how much self-esteem these guys had. Here Zetsu is, prancing around in his boxer briefs while traffic went by. I'll bet you anything he would wave at some of them that just stared. Zetty just scoffed.

"Don't bring my body into this. Do you need something?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to Boston with me." He sighed, scratching his head.

"I honestly don't. There are no plants on the boat..." Ugh! This guy and plants, shit!

"You could bring a plant with you, man..," I said to him, somewhat annoyed that that was his main reason for not wanting to go. He shook his head.

"It's _so_ not the same, man. Count me out." Groaning, I drastically turned around and opened the door below the balcony-shit-thing.

"And here I was, looking for someone to bunk with me," I fake mumbled, sighing after I heard Zetty make some odd noise. It was like an 'ah,' or something. I suck ass at typing this crap, man...Ugh.

"Wait-!"

"Too late, man. Blew your chance. Enjoy the _plants_," I flew him a birdie, and watched him sulk, returning to some tree he was trimming. Ha, I win yet again. Okay, downstairs. Damn. Downstairs is Awesome. Wanna know why?

The exercise equipment's all down here. Bowflex, weights, Elliptical, etc. Wanna know what's greater? Pein was on the Bowflex bench, hittin' up 50lbs, with his v-neck off, and he was jamming to AC/DC. Now I do believe I have the right to say I almost jizzed myself when I saw this scene. Just to be in the room, watching sweat drip off his tight, flexed muscles can give anyone a pair of wet pants. Yes, he's forty. Yes, I should _**not **_be fantasizing about his body. And yes.

He's _fresh meat_, and Ninja's in the mood for some _Pein Mignon_.

"Ava, breathe," a calm voice called to me. _Meat_...Tight, delicious steak...I'll give you a dirty deed gone dirt cheap..Done _**Steak **_cheap, that is... "Dude?" You can throw however many piercings you want on it...I won't mind. Whack!

"Ow-!"

"The Hell man? Have you gone mental?" A red headed beauty yelled at me. He...what? Pein? I looked over towards Pein, and froze. He was sitting up, letting go of the handlebar thingys, and staring into my eyes. Damn, it was like he was trying to seduce me! How dare he look at me with those odd, eyelash-hidden eyes...Man, his abdomen was _glistening _with sweat..That could be steak juice...Big, juicy _steak_...Whack!

"_Just make sure it's Medium-Rare_!" I accidently blurted out, turning around to face the man attacking my poor head. It was none other than the great, sunken-coppery-eyed Sasori, staring at me like an idiot.

"What?" He asked, dumbfounded. Sasori put his hand down to his side, looking at me cock-headed. Then he attacked my forehead with the other hand, his eyes concerned.

"You okay there? You're sweating up a storm, man." Sweating up a storm? That sounds okay, yeah? If storms _do_ sweat…

"I-I'm fine...-"

"If you're done staring at me like a hungry dog does to a piece of meat, leave," Pein suddenly said, rising from the bench. Wow, I just couldn't stop staring at his body! How sick! ...**Wrong**. There's nothing sick about this...Sasori..save me. Save me from his hot body! Sasori dragged me to the hallway.

"My apologies. She's being a teenager again." What? Being a teenager—I _am _a teenager, you idiot! Noo~ Pein's body, come back! Sasori pushed me into the room by the stairs, shutting the door afterwards.

"You're seriously freaking me out now, man. What's wrong with you?" I sighed dreamily, putting a hand to my overly hot forehead. Don't worry; Pein's body's fault.

"I need someone to go to Boston with me..." I'm guessing the way I said this made Sasori blush, but I didn't care. This morning, I had Pein's fingers right by my mouth, then I got to rest my head on Zetsu's lovely, muscled arm, plus I had myself some of my happy time with Itachi in the bathroom, and lastly, I got to see Pein's glorious, glowing body. If I was a guy, I would so be hard right now...Oh, I forgot Dei's back! Yes! Today's been awesome so far! I sighed again, this time with drool oozing down my lip. Sasori started laughing at my expression.

"Wow, Ava. Looks like _you're _not thinking about sex right now," he said sarcastically.

"Man, if it was any way possible...I would _demolish him_..." I thought aloud. Whoa, time out man! Itachi told me that that hunk of sexy is after my virginity, and here I am _drooling _over his body. That really _is _sick...

"What? Who? I thought you demolished Itachi in the bathroom already..." Sasori said, confused. I shook my head away from my thoughts, and turned to Sasori.

"Why does everyone know about that...?" He laughed.

"Hello? Shit house. Everyone hears everything," I stared at him seriously.

"Not...everything." Suddenly, I heard muffled yelling from upstairs, and from where I was, it sounded like Kakuzu. Ah jeez...Sasori must have heard it too, because he cracked the door a little. Pein turned down his music also.

"Ava! Get your ass up here!" Pein and Sasori started laughing, pointing at me and jeering.

"Ha ha, you made Kakuzu angry~" I shoved Sasori out of the way, then glared at Pein, my thoughts of his body disappearing instantly.

"I thought you were the leader..." I mumbled to him. He just stuck his tongue at me. Ha, stupid leader, yes, yes.

"By the way, Ava," Sasori called to me. I looked over to him as I put my foot on one of the steps.

"You said you needed to find someone to bring with you to Boston. I'll go with you."

_**Told you it was lame. **_**Agh. Muy horrible, si...Now, be good little peepsies and review. Tell me what's odd about this chapter. **


	3. Lollipop Men

**There's a problem. Guys, I created this story _last summer_. I highly doubt this story will continue...Sorry. Tell me what you think of this chapter~ Who knows, maybe when I have enough spare time to work on this, I'll get the next chapter up. Most likely, the chapters will become more serious, and less "lame humor" will be found. *shrugs***

**Enjoy~**

-Ch. 3 Lollipop Men-

Prolonging the day is great and all, but we need to start actually going to Boston. So, it's been a few days, and now it's Wednesday, June 16th, and we're heading to Nash Vegas, to the airport. Pein was driving the 2010 Toyota Highlander, which was this badass magnetic grey metallic color_(you guys can google this. It's the third one that pops up. Just put 2010 Toyota Highlander. It's pretty snazzy~_), Kakuzu was in the seat beside Pein's, and Sasori and I were in the back, jamming to Family Force 5. I thought this was pretty funny; Y'know, Business up front/Party in the back? Ha! So I was giggling for quite a while about this, until Sasori smacked my head, shushing me. I swear, this guy's supposed to be thirty-five? Bull_crap_. Anyway, we were on the road for about an hour now, and Pein and Kakuzu were arguing about something to do with leaving Itachi in charge while they were gone. This continued for a long time, until I sighed, getting my drawing pad out of my disgustingly old, pink, stained backpack. Ha, hey man, I've had the thing ever since 8th grade. It's one badass backpack. I got out my red pen, and started doodling. Sasori watched me screw around, until he asked.

"What are you drawing?" So far, I just had a fat, chibi-ish head, that was bald. I was trying to figure out how to do the shape of the eyes, until I froze, and looked at Sasori. He gave me a confused look, and I gasped. I quickly snatched his chin, making him blush.

"You!" I said, surprisingly excited. Sasori smiled at me warmly. "Idiot. Stay in this pose for an hour? Ugh," I shook my head.

"I just need your eyes. It'll only take a few minutes," Sasori suddenly yelled in fear, from what it sounded like, and scooched to his window, covering his eyes.

"No! You're becoming like Itachi! You can't have my eyes! Get **Away**!" He shrieked, kicking the air and yelling like an idiot. I just looked at him dumbfounded. I didn't even think about that. Ha, that's pretty funny. (Actually, Sasori's wrong~ I would be more like Madara, yes? Heh, but in this, I don't know who Madara is until...~)

"What the HELL"S going on back there!" Kakuzu yelled, turning back to glare at a giggling Ninja and a cry-baby Sasori. "Quit acting like Hidan, dammit!" I swear man, they just need to_do_each other and be done with this hating thing. Ugh.

"She's trying to take my eyes! Make her stop!"

"I'm trying to draw your eyes, you ass! Quit acting like a baby!"

"**Enough**!" Pein yelled, shutting all three of us up. Whoa man, I like it when he's angry. Damn it! "We're supposed to be in a sailboat together, and you guys are all bitching when we haven't even gotten on the plane yet? Damn! Try acting your ages!" With that, Kakuzu turned back towards the front, apologizing to Pein quietly. Sasori stuck his tongue out at me, then sat back up, away from my vision to his eyes.

"Wait a sec...Sailboat?" I asked, suddenly aware of what the pierced sexy said. Sasori looked confused as well. Pein nodded once.

"Yeah. There's a member in New York that had some business to do, but he's done with the job, and now he wants to go on a boat trip. He wanted the whole Akatsuki to go, but I had to talk him out of it. I mean, seriously, ten people on a little boat? Ugh, the moron_,"_

As Pein was talking about this, I shot glances of Sasori's eyes and finally finished the face of the miniature Sasori on my paper. Yess~ Sasori looked over towards the picture, and threw me a thumbs up. Ha, that's _right_!

"Are you listening, Ava?" Pein asked, annoyed. I nodded at him, smiling. "Hai!"

He sighed, focusing on the road. "You haven't met Tobi, have you?" I looked towards Pein.

"Tobi? Sounds like a cat's name," Sasori smacked his face at my remark, shaking his head. Pein smiled his beautiful, sly smile. It made his snake bites curve up~

"He's quite the character, and he tries to make people laugh, so I think you two will get along." Sweet, man. New member to meet...Ah shit. I've been in the Akatsuki for four years, and now I hear about this Tobi? That's pretty weird. You would think that since I'm a member, I should know, like, all the secrets and stuff. Great...

"Can I ask how old he is?"

"...I'd say...Hm, forty-five? Somewhere around that area," I groaned, crossing my arms.

"Am I always going to be the youngest one…?"

Okay, skip, skip, _Kakuzu's _a _**douche**_, skip, yes! We're at the airport! Pein pulled into the airport parking lot. He parked, and we all popped out, me being the last, since I had to toss my pad back in the shitpack. Ooh, nice nickname~

[AGH? I never told you what everyone was wearing! I fail..._Ladies_ first:

**Kakuzu **was wearing this black v-neck, a low v-neck. heh~ It was really low, and even though this guy's seriously ninety-one...damn~ And he knew how to wear a pair of black baggy shorts. Usually, he had chains on them, but since we're going to the airport, it would be pointless. He always had his little black studded belt though, and the skater sneakers, black with purple laces. I never mentioned his tats, did I? Y'see? I suck at these damn fan fics. The guy's got these...stitch-like tats...all over his body. Makes him look like a shitty doll, but in the hot way, if you would say a doll could be hot...Well, hey now, what about Barbie and Bratz? Ha, my badness.

Pein...Oh Pein. He was wearing his loose, denim jeans. They were down so that you could see his multi-colored boxers, with the most color being an aqua blue. He had a tight black...would you call it a tank top? Shit...I'm really not good with words...Anyway, picture what Eric Northman was wearing somewhere in Season TWO, for those Trueblood watchers/readers. Pein also had these converse that made his feet look like clown feet; they were black with gray laces. No belt, which I loved. Gah~

Hm, Sasori. He was wearing his "artist" jeans, which were faded and covered in holes. Huge holes. Like, Pein could stuff his hole hand in his knee hole.

Oh...He could, couldn't he..? Damn, then, he could..grab his knee, work his way up...**MA! **Stop it! Ugh...Saseme, Shit-WHOA, NO? Seme* with Pein? Hell no. Uke**, dammit. Ninja! Stop it! This is NOT going to be a yaoi fan fic! Maybe shounen-ai, but I'm _**so **_not going to type about the Akatsuki fucking each other (I'd rather watch it~). Ahem, Sasori was wearing an old, white v-neck. Jeez, all that talk about yaoi, then this dinky sentence. Wow, man...Hey! He was wearing brown flip flops.

Me? ...You people don't know me. Chick, obviously. Not too tall, not a midget. Long, wavy dark brown hair, brown eyes. There. Cheap ass description. Moving along~ Wearing my dark, faded denims, brown flip flops, tight, forest green shirt, with Chibi Link being all badass. Hair? Uh...Down? The one thing I really don't care about when I have to do this OC thing is describing myself to people who don't know what I look like. Gay...]

Pein stared at his highlander, and rubbed its side, and I swear, I heard him whisper, "I'll be back, love." Men and their cars, I'm never going to understand.

"Alright, the plane leaves in an hour and half. Let's get moving, guys," Pein said, acting all serious and grabbing his bags and leading the way. Kakuzu followed, and Sasori and I rushed to get our stuff and run after them. As we entered, Pein told us to get our boarding passes out. Then, we headed for security, and the security chick had a fit about Pein and all of his piercings, and kept yelling at him to take them off, but he did an OHSHC Tamaki-style combo, and she let him go. This isn't very descriptive. Who cares? No one's reading it. Keep going! We need to see Tobi!

Ma! We're waiting for the plane! But I was sad. Sasori kept nudging me out of my depressing, emo shit mood.

"What's wrong now, man?" he asked me musically. He loved picking on me and messing with my mood, y'see. I moaned softly, closing my eyes.

"We didn't get Starbucks..." Pein heard this, and started laughing. I glared at him. How dare he? Bastard! Pein strolled over towards me, with a twenty in his hand.

"Here," He said to Sasori, handing him the money. Sasori and I stared at Pein, then shook our heads.

"Dude, _**Starbucks**_." We said in unison. It was a Hittachin moment, you would say~

Pein's Rinnegan eyes bulged out of their sockets, and he quickly pulled out another twenty, handing it to Sasori. Pein cleared his throat, then called to Kakuzu, asking what he wanted from Starbucks.

"Mocha frappe, with cool whip," I immediately jumped up, and looked at whoever was reading this, holding a thumb up.

"You mean..._**COO HHWIP**_?" All three of the sexies stared at me as if I were a Percy that just cussed out Crouch. A few of the people waltzing around the airport, looking for their waiting place, stopped to stare at my awesome-ness. I drastically turned around and crossed my arms.

"Don't judge me." With that, I twirled on my heel, grabbing Sasori's hand while in the midst of the twirling, and skipped towards the food court.

I felt _awesome_. But, remember, my dear peeps, Sasori's 35, and I'm 16. So, it's somewhat odd finding a crazy teen holding a much older guy's hand, going for coffee. And of course, people stared at us. They have nothing better to do with their miserable little shit lives than to but in on someone else's choices. Blegh. See? This is why everyone should get rid of their phones and get a cat. Or, they could start writing Fan fiction, yeah? Heh, hey, I'm on a roll here~

We finally arrived at Starbucks, after having to pass a few random women that wouldn't stop ogling Sasori. Of course, he was enjoying the attention, since he's an idiot. I let go of his hand quickly, as one of the chicks gazed down at our hand-holding action. Usually, holding hands is pointless to me, but Sasori, there's an exception. Maybe it's because he's somewhat an artist, like I want to become, and the feel of his rough hands just completes the hand-holding...thing. What? That makes no sense...Okay.

Um...Okay, skip, skip, we have our fraps/caps, and we're back at the waiting place. Everyone's devouring the frappy caps, and Kakuzu's pissed.

"I did notask for chocolate chips, dammit." As I was about to say something to him, the announcer announced that we were boarding. Don't ask me if we were in 27A-27B, I **forgot**. So, we're all on the plane now, and I'm sitting by Pein, which I found a tad uncomfortable. We sat in the back of the airplane, and I had the window, and Pein had the middle seat. The seat next to him held an incredibly hot chick, with long, strawberry blonde hair. She looked like a freakin' model, man! She kept glancing at Pein, who was too focused on trying to ignore her. I allowed myself a quick look at her oval face, then whipped out my phone, texting the words, 'Dude, she's freakin' raping you with her eyes. Attack her3.' I nudged Pein's amazingly muscly arm-I love doing that..Throwing in a random hot part of the guy..Ah!-And glanced at my phone, moving it so he could see. He chuckled, but put his arm around me, resting his head on mine. I sighed, trying to ignore my mind, which was screaming, "_Attack Him." _

A few hours had passed, and we were arriving in Long Island, New York. It had grown dark during the plane ride, and it was now ten o' clock at night. Pein basically fell asleep on me throughout the entire trip, so I was incredibly relieved to see that I had my own personal bubble space again. As everyone was waiting for the luggage, Sasori and I were talking about me drawing a daily picture of him, so that it's a boss memory.

"Just don't get me in an awkward state, yeah?" I agreed, and I saw my black suitcase roll towards the end of the line-thingy.

"MA!" I ran towards the end of it, knocking a few random people out of the way, and grabbed my suitcase quickly, with one arm, which was Awesome. Sasori couldn't stop laughing at me, Pein just smiled slyly, and Kakuzu was being a douche.

"I'm guessing that's Ava?" A man's voice called out somewhere in the crowd. We all turned towards the voice. I suddenly saw a tall figure rise from the crowd, walking towards us. It was definitely a man's body...y'know: a huge, well-built chest, long arms and legs, etc. He was wearing black jeans, a black v-neck, a yellow belt, and had black flip flops on. His hair reminded me of Itachi's and Sasuke's oddly: it was long, longer than Ita-senpai's, but it was layered and bushy. But the one thing that was odd about him was...He was wearing an orange, spiraled mask, with one eye-hole. He reminded me of a lollipop...Heh.

"Pein! Kakuzu-kun! Look what I got at the mall! It was in the Anime store TokyoKid. Ha, the place is mostly porn...but hey! This mask is awesome!"

"It's amazing, Tobi," Pein replied coolly. He walked up to "Tobi," and gave him one of those man hugs that those football players do. I walked behind Sasori, watching them calmly. Pein finally released Tobi, and looked over to me.

"Tobi," He said. "This is Ava. She's been with us for four years." Tobi's mask looked in my direction, and he pulled the lollipop off, revealing dark, black eyes, a perfect, straight nose, and full, somewhat dark lips...Agh3 My face grew bright red as he looked me up and down, then he looked over at Pein, his lips parted slightly. As I tried to keep my nosebleed a secret, he walked towards me, smiling a _gorgeous _smile.

"Hello~" He said musically, grabbing one of my hands. He then bent down and kissed my hand, softly. I stared blankly at him, and suddenly, my nose exploded, blood going everywhere like a Rita Skeeter trying to find some news (Is that lame? I think it's funny).

"D'oh!" I quickly tried to cover it back up again, and ran behind Sasori. Nice first impression, Ninja. Everyone stared at me, yet again, and after a few seconds passed, Pein burst out laughing, clutching his stomach. Sasori's shoulders were shaking uncontrollably, and Kakuzu was actually snickering. That's _**Weird**_. I forced myself to take a peek at Tobi's face. He looked frightened!

"Is she okay?" He asked everyone frantically, staring at Pein. Pein wiped tears from his eyes, sniffing loudly.

"Oh, it's nothing. This always happens." Tobi looked confused, glancing at everyone, including me. I finally managed to control my stupid nose.

"Um...Sorry," I mumbled awkwardly, hiding my face behind Sasori. Tobi just shrugged, and picked up Pein's suitcase, heading some random way.

"Shall we go? I want you guys to meet someone~" We all agreed, and headed towards the exit, me being the last. It's really awkward, having your nose explode in front of four hot guys. Especially when they don't know what is wrong, or what it means. Actually, no. It's more awkward when _**three **_of the hot guys know what it means, and one doesn't. Then they make fun of you. That sucks.

The four hotties and I strolled out of the airport towards the parking lot, which was like one of those stupid lots that are in..uh, some sort of underground, tower...thing. Anyway, with Sasori's arm around my sagging shoulders, and the nonstop nagging about how cheap the airport was, all coming from Kakuzu's fat mouth, we stopped in front of a dark, metallic red Chrysler Dodge Caliber 2011 (again, guys. This one, type in the CDC, and it's the fourth one, with the obvious red picture of the freakin' car~)

"Damn," I said quietly, biting my lip. Sasori let out a low whistle, looking the car up and down. Tobi skipped towards the car and, after doing too good of a twirl, he rubbed the car's side.

"Everyone, this is Taki. She's been taking me everywhere for the past few months," Taki? Pein walked over towards Taki and, obviously not interested in it, kicked one of the back wheels. Tobi squealed like a little girl, his hands over his mouth, dropping Pein's bag.

"Just open the damn thing up. I'm tired," he said bluntly. Tobi quickly took some keys out of his ass-pocket (WHO keeps those there?), and unlocked Taki. We all threw our luggage in the back, and Tobi got in the driver's seat, with surprisingly Kakuzu up front, leaving me, Sasori, and Pein in the back seat. I was sadly in the middle, but Sasori already had his seat belt on, so I had nothing to worry about for _him_. Now, Pein, on the other hand...

"Ava, your ass is in the way..Move," he said quietly, yet sternly. I'm guessing I was too slow for him, so he just snook his huge hand under my thigh, and lifted it up, almost high enough so that the side of my head was on Sasori's shoulder/chest. Of course, this caused me to turn in my seat, since I didn't have my seatbelt on yet, and my head landed in Sasori's lap.

"Hn? Why Ava, can't you wait until we get to Tobi's house before we play?" Sasori said, jokingly, his cheeks flushed. Before I could answer, Pein placed my leg on his huge shoulder and, with his hands hovering a little too close to "me," he successfully clicked on his seatbelt. I swear, I was about to jump up and rip his shirt off and just attack him, that is until Tobi cleared his throat, making me let out a gasp.

"I would _love_ it if you guys didn't do the flappy in Taki. She wouldn't approve," Tobi said, blushing in the car's light. I quickly straightened up, snapped on my seatbelt, and ignored Sasori's snickering.

"S-sorry," I said quietly. From the corner of my eye, I saw the corners of Pein's sexy mouth curve up. I suddenly felt incredibly uncomfortable. Now, I know I keep saying I'll attack this guy, but he's **Forty**. And his hands are _huge_**, **man...And after what Itachi said, I should be more careful when I'm around Pein...I scooted closer towards Sasori, causing him to put his arm around my shoulders. I don't know if it was the low rumbling of the car, or Sasori's body heat that made me incredibly dreary and sleepy. The last thought in my head was what Itachi warned me about a few days ago, before we left for Nashville:

_"Call me every now and then, hn? Just so I know how you're doing," He said to me, as I was pulling on a shirt. He always watched me strip, so I didn't mind (Heh~). Leaning against the door frame, he gazed at me as I shuffled around my room, grabbing my last-minute thingy-do's. As I was about to walk out the door, he pushed me against the wall, closing the door quietly. _

_"And one more thing," he said quietly. But before he could say anything, and dropping all my things, I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him forcefully against the wall, attacking his lips roughly. Itachi wrapped his arms around me tightly, attacking my lips just as rough. I suddenly thought to myself, why don't I take control..? Smirking deviously, I moved away from his face, to his delicious, thick neck, which was his weakness. I took in his delicious scent slowly, then licked his neck tenderly, causing him to shudder and arch his back. As I was about to bite into him, Itachi grabbed my shoulders and pulled me up so that his lips were by my ear._

_"Don't be in the same room that Tobi or Pein are in alone," He whispered, his voice suddenly sounding worried._

I will come to realize I should have listened to that beauty's words in the mere future.

**Hm? _Well_? Tell Ninja what you think~**

**Also! Take a guess as to why I named Tobi's car "Taki!" Review, por favor? Tee hee.**


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